Jailhouse Plot
by Basmathgirl
Summary: The Doctor has landed himself in jail, again! Donna has to think quickly, and decides to try out her womanly wiles for once.


**Warning/Spoilers:** Contains adult themes, and contains a slight reference to The Doctor's Daughter.

**Prompt Word:** The word 'fever'.

**Summary:** Set after The Doctor's Daughter, the Doctor is in jail (again) Donna must use her womanly wiles to get him out; written for a prompt by **louiecat68** , and sort of as a response to Travellers' Tales Prompt # 6 - fever at **doctor_donna** .

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any thing from Doctor Who, not now, not ever!

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**Jailhouse Plot**

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Thanking the guard on duty, Donna was led to the cell that held the Doctor as the sole occupant. "Okay, what did you do this time?" she asked.

"I swear to you that it was nothing!" the Doctor insisted, from his position on the other side of the cell door bars.

Donna did not look impressed, or convinced, "Nothing as in really nothing, or nothing as in nothing much to do with you but you got the blame anyway?"

He looked puzzled as he pondered this. "Probably closer to the second one."

"Go on then, tell me what happened," she encouraged him, well; she hoped it came across as encouraging rather than downright fed-up.

"We-ll, do you remember that bloke we met by the large cabin? He became ill with something called the Buckwasher Fever. The authorities traced where he had spent the day beforehand, and apparently, that led to us since we were the only ones who weren't registered as healthy, or equally unhealthy. I was identified as the probable infection host, and here I am!" he managed to look slightly pleased with this revelation.

"But I was there too! Why wasn't I fingered for the same crime?" Donna asked.

"I don't think you should use that term here, and you're a woman." The Doctor looked seriously at her.

"Give the Martian boy a goldfish for observation! And your point is?" Donna angrily demanded.

"No, you don't understand. On this planet diseases are only passed on by men." The Doctor watched as this information sunk in.

"Well, that's the best reason I've heard of for avoiding men!" was the reply.

"You're not avoiding me so far," he pointed out.

"That just proves you are not a man!" she scoffed.

"Ha ha. Oh so true. Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me?" he asked.

"Hmm, should I help you? Decisions decisions! Daddy or chips? Chips or Daddy? What exactly do you want me to do? And before you answer that I want an extremely precise answer." Donna examined him.

"Er… you've got me stumped," the Doctor admitted.

"I knew I'd manage it eventually," Donna giggled.

"How about you…? Nah, you can't do that! Or how about trying…? That wouldn't work either. Maybe you could…? Nope, that's daft too!" he tried out.

"Oh for the love of Pete would you choose something or shut up!" this was getting to be too much.

"Tetchy! Calm down." The Doctor threw up his hands in a calming motion.

"Calm down! You moron! I'll have to think of something myself." Donna huffed at him.

"Yeah, like that could happen!" he responded before logic told him not to.

"Do I have to point out how many times I've saved your skinny butt, or weren't you counting?" anger oozed from her.

"I was counting, unconsciously; no need to go all Xena on me!" he tried to placate her.

"Oh you didn't!" she sniggered.

"Didn't what?" he gave her a puzzled look.

"Have a thing for Xena Warrior Princess!" she clarified.

"No, course I didn't. All that was completed wasted on me." He made a mental note to hide the DVDs later.

"Keep telling yourself that, mate, okay?" she snickered. "So where's the main entertainment in here?"

"They've hidden themselves down the corridor on the right. By the sound of it they have a pool table," he answered.

"Seriously? You can hear them playing pool from here?" his hearing skills always amazed her.

"Nah, I'm messing with you! I spotted the poolroom when they brought me in here. That wall is almost a metre thick; it'd dampen most sounds. Unless, of course, they leave the door open…," he began to explain.

"Do you think they might be persuaded to release you? If I offered them…," Donna threw him a conspiratorially cheeky look.

"Don't be daft! I mean… it could work, but it's a long shot!" he scoffed.

"So you don't think anyone would be interested in me because you aren't!" Donna exclaimed, with a hint of anger in with the hurt.

"I never said that!" he defended himself.

"You don't need to! You're face is saying it all for you!" She turned to look towards the guards' games room, or whatever they called it, and called out, "Excuse me! Hello-o!"

There was an answering gruff voice, "What ya want?" Another guard appeared, sauntering down the corridor towards her.

"I was visiting my friend here, and I was wondering… erm… do you have any water available to drink, only…," she pulled out a handkerchief and began to mop herself carefully paying attention to her neck and cleavage, "I'm feeling extremely hot suddenly." She licked her lips, suggestively, "Can you help me?"

The guard eyed the progress of the handkerchief with keen attention. "I'm only allowed to give water to the prisoners," he told her, with a curious mixture of reluctance and arousal.

"How about," Donna began, moving closer to the guard, giving him an ample viewpoint, "you fetch my friend the water? I'm sure he'll share me… I mean, with me." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Well I suppose I could do that," the guard distractedly pondered. "Wait right there." He half-turned, keeping Donna in view and slowly made his way back to the games room.

"Hurry back!" Donna called breathily after him. "I need you to…," but the guard had disappeared round the corner. "Get ready to do something," she whispered to the Doctor.

"Do what exactly?" he whispered back, "Force-feed him water?"

"How do I know? I'm playing this by ear!" she told him in hushed tones.

"Is that what you're calling them these days, is it?" he muttered.

Donna glared at him, wondering what his problem was, but saved her next words for the returning guard. "Ooh, you lovely man!" she beamed at him.

"Water for the prisoner!" he tersely called out for the benefit of the other guard on duty. He shoved the water jug he held into the waiting hands of the Doctor through the cell door bars. "Here you go," he said to Donna instead.

Donna deliberately pressed herself against the guard, pushing him gently back onto the cell door. "How can I thank you properly?" she fluttered her eyelashes at him provocatively as she near-whispered into his ear. "I was beginning to worry that I'd have to strip to get cooler."

The guard visibly gulped. "I might be able to think of something we could… you could… do," he leered at her glistening skin.

"Really? Only, I'm open to all suggestions," she rubbed her hands over his chest. "But first, I need that drink of water."

Keeping herself still pressed against the guard, Donna accepted the jug of water from the Doctor. To the fascination of the guard, she drank part of it and then poured the rest of it on her neck and chest. "Oh dear! I appear to have split some of it!" she playfully told him. "I'll need some help to dry myself," she placed her handkerchief in his hand.

The guard's face lit up with added interest. "Here, let me do that for you, darling," he began as he leant forward to employ the cloth.

As he moved forward, Donna struck him hard with the empty jug on the head. The guard looked at her in bewilderment before hitting the deck in a stunned daze. "Did you get the keys?" she asked the Doctor as quietly as possible.

"I thought you just did that!" he indignantly replied.

"I can only do one thing at a time! I was a bit busy here! I dunno, have to do everything myself…," she rummaged through the still-dazed guard's pockets, pulled out the keys and unlocked the cell door. "You owe me big time, Spaceman."

"Add it to the list, will you?" he grabbed her hand. "Come on; let's see if we can get out of here cleanly."

"Planning to run through the showers first, are you?" she smirked, letting him lead them out the prison.

Fortunately, the other guard on duty had been warned to keep out of the way, so he had assumed the groans he heard were from… erm… leisurely pursuits. Donna and the Doctor emerged into the outside world completely unchallenged, and raced off towards the TARDIS, hand-in-hand.

As they later sat, drinking tea in the kitchen, Donna remarked, "Do you realise that I just saved you using my womanly wiles?"

"Well, I did tell you to save them for later," he reminded her.

"Yeah, except you said that as if you didn't believe I had any," she pointed out, "so how do you feel about my womanly wiles now, Timeboy?"

The Doctor considered her still-damp chest, "I'm beginning to see and appreciate them in a whole new light."

"Is that you deliberately using an innuendo?" she queried, amazed that he should risk such a thing.

He blushed a deep red, "I… erm… might not have done, actually." He did his patented nervous gesture of rubbing the back of his neck.

Donna creased up laughing at him. "Thought so," she gloated. "Don't worry, I'll go dry my woman wiles, shall I?"

The Doctor watched her retreating figure with amazement. How did she do that to him everytime? He chuckled to himself. In some respects, he hoped he never found out.

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End file.
